


remember that the product's not assembled like an architect that builds a house

by neverwinter (KingPreussen)



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Attempt at Humor, Candlenights, Canon-Typical Violence, Developing Relationship, Ficlet Collection, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Protective Siblings, Romance, The Bureau is a Vague Yet Menacing Government Agency
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-15 09:12:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13027872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingPreussen/pseuds/neverwinter
Summary: Technically, the Bureau is part of the Sword Coast's government and is under the same laws as all of the other agencies, but that doesn't stop The Director from bending those laws for her employees. Technically, Reclaimers don't have a physical license to kill, but that doesn't deter them from getting R&D tomakethem physical licenses. Technically, there is some far reach of Faerûn that has a shittier hotel than Elturel's, but no one has found it yet.Working for the B.O.B. is a study in technicalities. Taako juggles them all with something less than ease but more than difficulty. A certain Seeker manages to both complicate and help matters.





	1. you don't know how to dance

**Author's Note:**

> title from [the apple and the tooth](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1m2IVDr508)
> 
> writing from an [00Q summer prompt list](http://timetospy.tumblr.com/post/162006062219/007-fest-prompt-list) as inspiration comes (not fitting it into 30 days)
> 
> wont mark complete like better times because all of the fics will connect

_Perks for working for an extra-governmental agency_ , Taako began to himself, a smile plastered on his face as he was introduced to yet another face he didn't recognize. Lup was speaking, probably talking about the person behind said face. Taako only gave enough shits to actually _be_ at the party, not _listen_.

 _Number one: good pay_. The face began speaking to him directly as he frantically, silently, searched for number two. If another pro to working for the Bureau didn't come to him in the next few minutes he was liable to quit tonight, kicking and screaming. He caught every third word at best.

"Yeah, sounds excellent," he said, nodding. Lup rolled her eyes, because of course she knew when he was present and when he was miles away, but she was also _Taako's_ sister and wouldn't snitch on him.

"It was nice seeing you," she told person-behind-face, who echoed her and shook both of their hands again before walking away.

Lup, mouth set in a firm line, eyebrows raised, just looked at him.

Taako raised his hands palm out in surrender. "I was making a list of reasons I shouldn't tell all these people to go fuck themselves," he said.

"You will be making a list of reasons I shouldn't beat your ass," she snapped back, but there wasn't really any heat in her voice. "If these weren't mandatory, you know I'd have fucked off an hour ago, but we have to keep up appearances."

He hated it when she made sense. "Yeah, I fuckin' know." He studied her face, made up more than usual but still warm and familiar, and was struck by a wave of affection. He sighed and shifted his weight uncomfortably. "I'm alright, you don't have to babysit me. Go hang with your friends."

Lup leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek--most likely for luck, which he desperately needed--before doing as he suggested. She moved quickly and confidently across the floor, never hesitating in any action she took.

He would never stop being jealous of how comfortable she was in heels. His gold strappy sandals only had a two inch heel and he was looking forward to nothing but a hot bath when he got home.

To make matters worse, the band the Bureau hired paused their low-key mingling music and started up some kind of… _dance number_. Lup had escaped unscathed but Taako was standing near the middle of the dance floor, and he heard a rumor that the weird, handsy Elf from accounting was gagging for a chance to dance with him.

Taako's passive perception alerted him to someone stepping up behind him. "Hello, Taako," they said, voice dark and sexy and _decidedly_ different from handsy accountant's. "May I have this dance?"

He turned around, cursing himself for wearing a dress and not having any pockets to shove his hands into. Instead, he crossed his arms over his chest even though he knew that looked defensive as fuck. "Kravitz," he replied as steadily as he could.

Taako had a massive crush on the taller Half-Elf that he was sure could be seen from space. Either Kravitz was _way_ more oblivious than a Seeker should really be or he was politely ignoring Taako's interest. Or at least, he was until today. Taako knew he couldn't cast Prestidigitation discreetly enough to dry his suddenly clammy hands so he just tightened his fists under his arms.

Kravitz had his hand out, bent over in a slight bow, looking at Taako with a playful smile on his lips. Damn him for being so fucking handsome. Taako resisted the urge to repeat his name, instead continuing, "I don't dance."

"You don't know how to dance?" Kravitz straightened from his bow but his hand was still out, inviting. "Come on, I'll teach you."

"I know _how_ ," Taako lied, but Seekers were literally the best in the world at seeing through that kind of thing. Taako's silver tongue was worthless here; it only served to make Kravitz' little smile tilt into a smirk. "Alright, I don't know how."

Taako wasn't used to being made uncomfortable. It was almost enough to make him feel guilty for all the other men he made feel the same. Almost.

"I'll go slowly," Kravitz said, and didn't that sound decadent and vaguely inappropriate with his accent? "No time to learn like the present." He stepped forward and, in a moment of madness, Taako unfolded his arms and took his hand.


	2. your boyfriend is standing outside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Deliberate, pre-meditated, violent murder hadn't caused Taako to shed a tear in years. LEGO Batman, on the other hand… well, he was holding a tissue just in case._

Deliberate, pre-meditated, violent murder hadn't caused Taako to shed a tear in years. LEGO Batman, on the other hand… well, he was holding a tissue just in case.

He felt rather entitled to lying across his couch in front of the television for most of the day, watching his favorite movies on repeat in his pajamas. Reclaimers were on call 24/7, with the exception of post-mission leave, so he did have the volume on his phone turned all the way up so he could hear it from his bedroom upstairs. Other than that, he was as separate from work as he could possibly be in that moment.

Batman rejecting the Joker made Taako sniffle and rub at his suddenly wet eyes. "He's so into you, dude," he mumbled to the characters as if this were the first or even the fifth time he was watching the movie.

The front door opened and closed again on the bottom floor. He lived in a narrow brownstone in the middle of Neverwinter, so having a three-story house didn't really afford him any extra space, but that didn't matter. Taako was used to living well below his current means.

Whoever had come to visit quite obviously didn't pose a threat. They didn't trip any of his Alarms, for one thing, and had both the fingerprint recognition and the passkey chip required to enter. Taako didn't want to have to get his wand to fend off some asshole attacker when he was already so comfortable.

"Hey, Taako," Magnus greeted from the top of the stairs, normally wavy hair slicked and dark with water.

"Don't drip on my floor," Taako replied with a wide grin. "What's up, my man? Any reason for dropping by?"

Taako's fellow Reclaimer and--he wouldn't admit this to anyone--brother-figure dropped into the armchair that sat nearest to the staircase. "Nah, not really. Just didn't get to talk to you since last week."

The fondness in Magnus' voice made Taako's chest pleasantly warm and he ducked his head so maybe Magnus wouldn't see him blush. "Since that disaster of a fucking party, you mean," he said, fumbling in his mound of blankets for the television remote. When he turned the volume on the movie down, he finally heard the rain that Magnus came in from outside.

"Disaster?" Magnus crossed his socked feet at the ankle and leaned back in the chair. Taako knew the look on his face: it was entirely self-satisfied. "From what I saw, you and that Seeker had a _very_ nice night."

"You callin' me easy?" Taako asked, weakly attempting to deflect Magnus' observations. The second half of that Candlenights party had gone much better than the first. Kravitz was a natural charmer and Taako honestly enjoyed being wooed, even if it was just for one night.

The Seeker position was definitely the most enigmatic in the entire Bureau, and the agency was ninety percent spies. Most newbies expected them to be bookish, spending their entire lives in the vast libraries situated around the city. Seekers were actually more likely to work on the ground, gathering intel directly from sources, integrating themselves into networks to feed information back to the Bureau. It was all very James Bond.

So it made sense that Kravitz was more than able to turn on the charm for one night for someone who was so obviously infatuated with him. Taako felt another wave of embarrassment like he had at the end of the night, when Kravitz kissed his cheek in farewell and Taako was sharply reminded that his attentions were just some kind of fucked up Candlenights present.

"You're telling me you _didn't_ take him home?" Magnus said teasingly. Taako cleared his throat instead of teasing right back. Maybe that was too obvious to his friend, because Magnus reached across the small gap between them and stroked Taako's hair away from his face with a warm hand.

Taako huffed a soft breath. The only reason he would accept the comfort was because he wasn't genuinely upset. "No, I didn't take him home," he drawled. "The pity dance would have turned into a pity fuck and you know how I feel about those."

Magnus nodded, murmuring, "You give 'em, you don't take 'em."

"Damn straight."

Taako's text tone rang from upstairs and he groaned as he pushed himself to standing. Magnus held out his hand for the remote and Taako smacked it down into his palm so he could turn the volume on the movie up again. If the text was from work and they had to go in, Magnus most likely would have gotten it as well, which gave Taako hope it was just someone else come to annoy him.

The text was from Merle, confirming his theory. Taako sat down on his bed before he opened it.

_You with Magnus? I was gonna come up and take yall to lunch but your boyfriend is standing out in the rain like one of those cheesy romcoms you love_ , it read, and Taako groaned again but more forcefully.

_that fuck hasnt been my boyfriend for 3 weeks. come up_ , he texted back. Soon after, as Taako dressed in daytime clothes for the first time in 72 hours, he heard Magnus and Merle talking in the living room.

"I'm gonna chase him off," Taako said on his way past them both, wiggling his wand at them. Sure he wouldn't _kill_ Sazed, but he had enough non-lethal tricks up his sleeve. "Lunch sounds like a great idea, home slice, just gimmie a few minutes."

"Good luck!" Merle called to him as he descended toward the front door. He definitely didn't need it.

* * *

Taako got that dreaded call the next morning. The Director requested his and his team's presence at the Bureau headquarters in just a couple of hours. Part of him was almost eager to go, itching to get back out in the field after days of downtime. Another, more self-centered part of him did _not_ want to interact with Kravitz again. At least not so soon.

Taako spent most of the previous day bemoaning his interest in the man to both Magnus and Merle (Taako loved to gossip, but would only divulge information about himself to those two plus his sister; even three people was a very calculated risk). Merle agreed that the dance was probably just a one-time-only Candlenights gift. Magnus wasn't so easily convinced.

So before coming in, Taako finally washed his hair and then put it up in a nice, neat bun instead of his normal messy updo. He wore tight black jeans and a white button down tucked into them instead of a cute, loose-fitting dress. He didn't make up his face any more than usual but his eyeshadow was dark and unfriendly rather than his normal gold or pale pink.

_Looking_ good was a surefire way to make Taako _feel_ good, and if he _felt_ good, he wouldn't stress so much. Wizards never had exceptionally high armor stats. Mental armor would have to do.

"Mornin', Taako," Killian said, coming out of nowhere to fall into stride with him just after he passed through security at HQ. She was a Regulator, and a great one at that. They were less prized for their stealth and more for their brute strength, and she had both. It was a very good thing she was on their side.

"What's up, babydoll?" Taako linked arms with her, standing only ten inches shorter than her instead of the normal foot because of his wedged boots, and continued at her side. "You get a call, too?"

She shook her head. "Carey and I are training a new girl. She came in from the country, so she's a little." Killian made a wobbly gesture with her free hand. "She's going to make a good Regulator, though, we can already tell."

"Aw, so she's not for us?" Taako, Magnus, and Merle weren't the only Reclaimers in the Bureau, but their designation did have the least members. Three person teams were the norm but he was sure none of them would mind a fourth member, especially if she was good at her job. Taako wouldn't even mind being shown up by her if it meant less work for him.

Killian chuckled at him as she pulled away, having only walked with him to the end of the lobby where the hallways and elevators split off. "Cry more, dude," she said, but she was still grinning. "I'll see you." Taako waved at her until she turned the next corner, and then let his hand drop.

"Ah, good morning, Taako." This voice was much less welcome. Taako didn't slump in defeat but it was a close thing; instead, he kept his back straight and head high and turned around to find Kravitz standing behind him for the second time in as many meetings. 

"Hey," Taako said, without his brain's permission. He meant to say something much cooler and more impressive than _hey_.

Kravitz smiled at him, a bit lopsided and adorable. What a fucker. "I didn't see you after the party last week. I didn't know if you were on mission…."

He trailed off when Taako shook his head. "Nah, on leave. Reclaimer work is kinda sporadic, y'know? Did you, um. Did you want to see me?"

"I did." Kravitz took a step forward, not quite breaching Taako's personal bubble, and spoke in low tones. "I enjoyed our night together. I was rather hoping we could have another. Perhaps sometime this week?"

Taako put his hands on his hips. "Another… dance?" he asked, being purposefully obtuse. It was the only way to get a Seeker to speak straightforwardly most of the time.

Kravitz' smile flickered and Taako dug his fingers deeper into his skin to prevent smirking back. "Another night, in general. Dinner."

"So Candlenights part one was last week? And you want a part two? Part three will be you fucking me into a mattress, hm? Or is that next year's present?" Taako stepped back and away, his shoe making a hollow _tack_ sound that interrupted his half-rant and made him notice his voice was getting strident. "I'm not a charity case, my dude," he said in a much lower tone.

"I didn't think you were," Kravitz said, and then, "Candlenights part one?"

Taako hesitated. "You're really fucking hot, dude. Everyone and their mom has a crush on you, so I figured, like… you wanted to give me a taste. You know," he finished lamely.

"I don't give affection as a gift." Someone cleared their throat to Taako's right and he startled and looked over, glaring at some young Halfling man who quickly looked away and hurried down the hall. When he turned back, Kravitz was standing much closer, almost looming over him.

He didn't touch Taako without his permission, thank Istus, because Taako could definitely take him in a fight and he didn't want to have it out in front of all of their coworkers in the lobby. Instead, he leaned in and murmured, "I don't give sex as a gift, either."

After a moment, Taako asked, "You really just want to have dinner with me?"

Kravitz grinned. "Well, I can't promise that," he said, low and dark.

"Yes," Taako replied then. "When and where, homie?"

"Seven, Friday night. Text me your address." Kravitz handed him a business card; when Taako turned it over to look at the back, he read what he assumed was the Seeker's personal number, scrawled in surprisingly messy handwriting.

He glanced up again, meeting Kravitz' eyes. "Sure. I'm looking forward to it." His phone buzzed in his back pocket and he looked away, frowning. "Shit, I'm already late. But I'll text." Taako couldn't resist winking at Kravitz before he finally left for his real, actual meeting with the Director that he was really, actually late for.

The dressing down was absolutely worth it. And the Director must have had some idea of what kept Taako so long, because she wasn't nearly as ball-busting as she could be. From the looks both Magnus and Merle were giving him, he would have another meeting soon after this one to give them the rundown on what exactly he was doing downstairs.


End file.
